A Budding Emergencist
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
  Bad Day.

'THE FALSIFIERS', woodcut # 29 by Salvador DalĂ­.

"Virgil now hurries Dante on to continue the journey. The poets now look into the tenth and last ditch of the Eighth Circle of Hell, and here they see the FALSIFIERS. They are punished by afflictions of every sense by darkness, stench, thirst, filth, loathsome diseases, and a shrieking din. Some of them run ravening through the pit, tearing others to pieces. Just as in life they corrupted society by their falsifications, so in death these sinners are subjected so a sum of all corruption."

This is what CHIEF RESIDENT thinks of me.

His evaluation of my first month of surgery--


Once more, with Feeling...
"...the falsifiers--alchemists, evil impersonators...counterfeiters, and false witnesses. These sinners, who in life, corrupted all, now are made to endure every sort of corruption and pain. Darkness, dirt, filth, disease, hunger, thirst and noise surround them."

I have to repeat a month of surgery.


Wait for it...wait for it...

He's going to evaluate my second month of surgery as well, ending in 1/5 weeks.

Where are you doing your transitional year? Where are you planning to do your residency? Will this put you out of synch? (like, do you have to do an extra month?)
Like I said, Metropolis Medical Center. How unfortunate it would be for me if CHIEF RESIDENT were to google my nick *dex* and **real hospital name**," and come and see all the nice things I said about him.

No thanks.

Residency will be possibly at Metropolis, or where the 4 winds blow. My hosp has some secret gems, like a cath lab, an active surgical and medical service, and some hardnosed financial types guaranteeing its future. It's a sabra, the prototypical Jewish institution--spiky and hard on the outside, protecting golden nectar on the inside.

Update: No extra month for me. CHIEF RESIDENT said he'll not fail me, despite being a failure as a doctor, mainly because I work my ass off. If I'd slacked, he'd've shit-canned me long ago.

Nothing else, in terms of training, will give me the thousand-yard stare like perching precariously as I am between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.

In life we constantly walk a tightrope between our desires and our responsibilities.

A guitar string will only make beautiful music if it's subjected to carefully tuned stress on the verge of it's breaking point.

But, as CHIEF RESIDENT has learned, if you break the string by applying too much tension, there is no chance of music.

Better to ease off a little, allowing the string to regain it's natural flexibility--then there's potential for more music later on.

My string frayed a little, and plays a little flat, but it can still carry a tune. Adult supervision--i.e. my sainted program director's selfless intervention, prevented a full rupture of the delicate instrument, me.

Looks like CHIEF RESIDENT is educable. There may be hope for him yet.
Brutal. Your surgical rotation sounds a lot like mine was. I think it's a rite of passage.
I'm glad he reconsidered. That would have sucked. Hard work makes up for many faults.
Thanks Drs. Couz and Scalpel. I appreciate your support.

Good news--I have 3 interviews!

[Crosses fingers]
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Emergency medicine, from the beginning of a new doctor's career.

Location: Big City, Metropolis, United States

Walk softly and carry a big vocabulary. Don't be inhuman. Find and greet God in every person you meet. The patient is the one with the disease. Do not get distracted. Charity begins at home. Do good and be happy. Don't just do something, stand still. Wear sunscreen. Don't get anyone pregnant, and don't go to jail, young man. Budget your luxuries first. You don't know what you don't know. People like learning, they just don't like being taught. When in doubt, go out. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Honey attracts more flies than vinegar.

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